I know all the jokes about turning 40…you are over the hill, your life is half over, etc. And when I was 20, heck, when I was 30, I thought 40 was OLD. But I gotta tell ya…I think 40 is great so far. So I asked around to my friends and colleagues and some members of my favorite chat board who have all hit the 40 mark and had them tell me why they think 40 is great too. Some of the answers below are mine and some are from them:
1. It is a great time to take on a new interest…I just started photography classes! (ME)
2. It is a great time to get more educated…I will finish my second master’s degree this year! (ME)
3. It’s a great time to travel…Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, Australia are a few of the places I will be this year. (ME)
4. It’s a great time to start over… a new baby has kept me feeling 25! (ME)
5. It’s a great time to improve your health, lose weight, run a marathon, whatever…just do something! (ME)
6. At 40 I feel more confident, stronger and happier than I have ever been. (ME)
7. At 40 I have learned that what hasn’t killed me actually HAS made me stronger. (ME)
8. You have finally reached the age where you really don't care what others think about the way you parent, school your children, run your life, etc. You KNOW that what you are doing is right for you and your family and you have the confidence to not let others sway you. (mama 2005)
9. You're right in the middle of life- young enough to remember what is was like to be 20 with boundless energy and excitement, and old enough to know that life is short and that you'd better take advantage of every day! (Lynne)
10. I'm much wiser. (Peela)
11. I'm much more accepting of the things I can't change and less likely to waste energy trying to change it. (Peela)
12. I know myself better- my likes, my dislikes, what will upset my digestion, what will make me happy, what will pi** me off. (Peela)
13. I know how to take care of myself and care enough to. (Peela)
14. I am more able to implement good habits and stick with them. (Peela)
15. I am less self obsessed, and much happier because of it. (Peela)
16. My priorities are healthier. (Peela)
17. I've now lived through a complete cycle of fashion trends and know that everything in my closet will be "in" again (Anissa)
18. DON'T WAIT TILL YOU'RE FORTY! THIS IS NOT DRESS REHEARSAL! THIS IS YOUR LIFE! Which is one of the reasons why I admire Heather and her family......their heart for travel and new experiences. (Mariann)
19. Because you are experienced enough and are confident enough that little things don't rattle you. I've now seen really bad days. I know when a day is not the greatest but still far, far away from the worst that we've survived. And I can look at someone and say that I'm not satisfied with their answer and I need to talk to someone else. Calmly, without antagonism. But also with no intention of backing down. (Sebastian)
20. I know myself well; I no longer try to do or be what others want me to be (Danielle)
21. I have been through a couple of tragedies; a stain on the carpet isn't one of them. (Danielle)
22. I'm happy to be at a point where we have a nice home and property, more stability than we had when we were in our 20's and are no longer struggling to cover the basics. (Kathy)
23. I feel that people take me more seriously than they did in my 20s. I have enough life experience now to "know something." I also have the wisdom now to know that what I *don't* know, and I'm okay with it. (Lisa)
24. I now understand that true love is not an eternal honeymoon, but rather, finding someone for whom you are willing to sacrifice self and who is willing to sacrifice his self for you. (Cindy)
25. At the age of 42 I've learned that time passes very quickly (especially as you watch your children grow). I savor every minute I have with my son. He'll be out of the house before I know it! (Isabelle)
26. I sometimes now get the feeling that I'm kind of at the top of the roller coaster of life. I'm near the half-way point. It's downhill all the way now which, I guess could be depressing, but I love that exhilarating free fall feeling of water slides & so I'm looking forward to another 43 or so years of screaming down the slides with my hands in the air until I land in the big pool at the bottom. (hornblower)
27. After 20+ years in the same career field, I'm considered an 'expert,' with something of a good reputation among co-workers, customers, and even competitors...not worried much about staying employed, or finding employment if my current employer annoys me too much.(Barry)
28. I like the feeling of being old enough to be considered wise yet young enough to be considered "with it". (Justgin)
29. I'm still young enough and healthy enough to enjoy life with gusto, but old enough to know, it's also okay to sit down and put m' feet up and watch life go by now and then. (Justgin)
30. I like the feeling of having enough life behind me to give me sense and enough life ahead to give me dreams. (Justgin)
31. I like it that I'm automatically respected as an adult, but I'm still not that far away from understanding what it was like to a kid. (Justgin)
32. Being over 40 puts you at the stage of life in which you have enough knowledge and experience to be helpful to others but have not lost touch of how humbling it was to reach that place. (Texas mama)
33. I wake up grateful for the blessings I've been given instead of feeling unhappy about the things that I don't have.(Cat)
34. I know what I will tolerate and the things that I will walk the streets naked before I tolerate.(MommyofThree)
35. I am more aware of mortality, and how quickly it can come. (Dobela)
36. I am glad to see that some friends from my teens have chosen similar paths and that we still have common interests despite not seeing each other for 20 years. But I am not upset that other friendships have gone away because I have learned that sometimes a friend is a gift from God for that season alone. I believe that he will provide the friends I need or the next seasons of my life. (Dobela)
37. I learned money isn't everything. (Dobela)
38. I’ve learned to take chances…lots of them. (ME)
39. I am not too old to make mistakes …or to learn from them. (ME)
40. I have learned to always do what scares me most… there is something to be said for facing down your fears. (ME)
So how about you? Are you 40 yet? If so, what do YOU think is great about being 40? Have you stopped and thought about it?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Grace under fire or Jail?
So yesterday we decided to go car shopping. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the rumors are true... the motorcycle is no longer welcome in this family.
Now car shopping in Penang is sort of a depressing little task because all the cars here look exactly the same. So it's like "Would you like THIS small, square-shaped, boring car with a lawn-mower engine? or THAT small, square-shaped, boring car with a lawn-mower engine? And I'm like, really? What's the difference? It certainly makes me miss the variety we have in America.
At any rate, yesterday's car shopping was even more frustrating than usual because I also got to experience my first real dose of racism here. It went like this:
We walk into a small dealership. A young Chinese salesman comes over to assist us. He has great English which is helpful. I am looking at a car that seems to be exactly what I want... only two years old, very low mileage, good price, excellent condition and then he says...
him- And you will be happy to know the previous owner is Chinese.
me- why would that make me happy?
him- well here on the island we have Chinese, Indian and Malay people (he obviously thought I just moved here)
me- yes, I am aware of that
him- well, (and he gives me this little smirk like he is about to share some secret knowledge with me) you only want to buy cars owned by Chinese...don't buy a car owned by an Indian (and he punctuates this sentence with a look of disgust...like he just drank spoiled milk)
So I am standing there picturing my beautiful daughter's face sitting in the back of that car...my beautiful INDIAN daughter...and I had the sudden urge to take a Louisville slugger to this guy's head. But because I have class that he obviously lacks (and because I don't want to end up locked in a Malaysian jail cell)...I simply say...
"Thank you for your time. I think we will look elsewhere."
You could call it grace under fire.
You could call it wanting to avoid jail time.
I call it "stupid racist idiot...I wouldn't buy a car from you if you were the last dealer on the island"
racist people suck
the end.
Now car shopping in Penang is sort of a depressing little task because all the cars here look exactly the same. So it's like "Would you like THIS small, square-shaped, boring car with a lawn-mower engine? or THAT small, square-shaped, boring car with a lawn-mower engine? And I'm like, really? What's the difference? It certainly makes me miss the variety we have in America.
At any rate, yesterday's car shopping was even more frustrating than usual because I also got to experience my first real dose of racism here. It went like this:
We walk into a small dealership. A young Chinese salesman comes over to assist us. He has great English which is helpful. I am looking at a car that seems to be exactly what I want... only two years old, very low mileage, good price, excellent condition and then he says...
him- And you will be happy to know the previous owner is Chinese.
me- why would that make me happy?
him- well here on the island we have Chinese, Indian and Malay people (he obviously thought I just moved here)
me- yes, I am aware of that
him- well, (and he gives me this little smirk like he is about to share some secret knowledge with me) you only want to buy cars owned by Chinese...don't buy a car owned by an Indian (and he punctuates this sentence with a look of disgust...like he just drank spoiled milk)
So I am standing there picturing my beautiful daughter's face sitting in the back of that car...my beautiful INDIAN daughter...and I had the sudden urge to take a Louisville slugger to this guy's head. But because I have class that he obviously lacks (and because I don't want to end up locked in a Malaysian jail cell)...I simply say...
"Thank you for your time. I think we will look elsewhere."
You could call it grace under fire.
You could call it wanting to avoid jail time.
I call it "stupid racist idiot...I wouldn't buy a car from you if you were the last dealer on the island"
racist people suck
the end.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Civilization
It seems that no matter what I tell people back home, we still get those who think we are living in the middle of the desert with islamic radicals or on the beach in a hut. People...please...Penang is just as civilized as the U.S. They may do things a little differently here (and somtimes it is really annoying) but we have all the modern conveniences and then some.
Our big mall is called Gurney Plaza (hence the "g") and as of Sept 1, they are banning smoking inside the mall which is HUGE since people smoke EVERYWHERE here. It will be a huge change for Malaysians but a welcome one for us.
So I promise, we have electricity, indoor plumbing, internet access and everything else you have in America...except Target. Man, do I miss Target.
Our big mall is called Gurney Plaza (hence the "g") and as of Sept 1, they are banning smoking inside the mall which is HUGE since people smoke EVERYWHERE here. It will be a huge change for Malaysians but a welcome one for us.
One thing I thought I would never get used to is driving in the other side of the road. But I did!
Malaysians LOVE to shop. There are stores, malls, plazas, etc. everywhere. This is Island Plaza. It has a huge gym similar to Powerhouse in it, tons of stores, a big department store called "MetroJaya" which is a lot like Macy's. It also has Cold Storage which is our grocery store chain on the Island and my favorite nail salon.
Of course we have a Starbucks!!
And a Chili's!
And what would civilization be without McDonalds?
So I promise, we have electricity, indoor plumbing, internet access and everything else you have in America...except Target. Man, do I miss Target.
The Big 4-0
Well, despite my best efforts...I turned 40. Seriously, though, I had such a wonderful birthday. The morning started out with a surprise serenade. All 100 of my elementary students gathered in the courtyard and sang happy birthday to me. I was so suprised that I cried. They gave me flowers and birthday cards they had made for me.
All day long my colleagues and friends stopped by my office to wish me a happy birthday, drop off presents and cards, etc.
Then about 20 of my girlfriends took me to my favorite restaurant ...Ferringhi Gardens...for dinner and drinks. It is such a beautiful restaurant. We had a great time and they showered me with gift certificates to all my favorite places. I have made so many new friends from all over the world!
The restaurant is filled with plants and flowers
Inside the restaurant
Sonia (from Grenada) and Valerie (from Montana)
Tracey and Jodi (both from Canada)
Ailee (Malaysia) and Bronwyn (South Africa)
Annami (South Africa), Lisa (USA), Karen (USA)
Robin (Canada), Lydia (Australia), Debbie (England)
Akiko (Japan), Brandi (USA)
Lori H., Sharla and Lori D. (all USA)
The best story of the evening had to do with my friend, Ailee. As she was getting ready to come to the dinner she got her round brush horribly tangled into her thick, long, black hair. She tried for 20 minutes to untangle it with no success. But she was determined not to miss my birthday celebration so what did she do? She left it in and came to the restaurant anyways! That is true friendship!! The next day it took a hairdresser two hours to untangle it.
Finally, on Sunday, my husband and kids took me out to dinner. My presents from him are an iPhone and a trip to BALI!!! It was a really magnificent weekend and I think 40 will be the best year ever.
You Just Never Really Know
Yes, of course we all know that one day we will die. But really, how often do we ACTUALLY contemplate that? We don't really think it's going to happen any time soon do we? Even if we know someone who has suddenly and unexpectedly died we still think it only happens to other people.
Well this summer we had an opportunity to really contemplate the topic of death. On July 14, John was in a serious motorcycle accident. He was driving down the road, obeying all the laws, and a guy in a white car blew through a stop sign and plowed right into him. John flew over the car and landed on his head/neck.
When he hit the ground he was instantly paralyzed. He could talk but that was it. Witnesses came running to his aid. Coincidentally, he was on his way to where our boys were hanging out and was only a block from there so one of the witnesses went and grabbed the boys and brought them to the scene. Kyle got John's cell phone out of his pocket and started calling our friends. Within minutes, about 10 people we work with were at the scene helping him while he waited for the "ambulance" to arrive. Keep in mind that this is Malaysia and we do not have paramedics or EMTs. What we have are essentially vans with a gurney in the back and two guys who are hired to drive you to the hospital.
Meanwhile, I am in Michigan visiting family. Because of the 12 hour time difference, it was about 6 hours later before I found out. Needless to say, hearing that your husband has just been in a serious accident while you are on the other side of the world is a tough phone call to get.
At first we were not sure of the extent of his injuries due to the severe swelling. Eventually we found out that his neck was broken in two places and he had over 40 stitches in his head. But God is GOOD because he was not permanently paralyzed and would recover.
It has been a tough time for him since then. He has been in this huge neck brace for 6 weeks and has still not regained all the strength in his right arm due to nerve damage. In addition, we recently found out that he will need surgery soon to fuse together 4 vertebrae in his neck. But we still feel very grateful and fortunate that God chose not to take him from this world just yet. The motorcycle, however, is for sale. :)
If you have a weak stomach...don't go any further....
This is before (just after he got the stitches)
Well this summer we had an opportunity to really contemplate the topic of death. On July 14, John was in a serious motorcycle accident. He was driving down the road, obeying all the laws, and a guy in a white car blew through a stop sign and plowed right into him. John flew over the car and landed on his head/neck.
When he hit the ground he was instantly paralyzed. He could talk but that was it. Witnesses came running to his aid. Coincidentally, he was on his way to where our boys were hanging out and was only a block from there so one of the witnesses went and grabbed the boys and brought them to the scene. Kyle got John's cell phone out of his pocket and started calling our friends. Within minutes, about 10 people we work with were at the scene helping him while he waited for the "ambulance" to arrive. Keep in mind that this is Malaysia and we do not have paramedics or EMTs. What we have are essentially vans with a gurney in the back and two guys who are hired to drive you to the hospital.
Meanwhile, I am in Michigan visiting family. Because of the 12 hour time difference, it was about 6 hours later before I found out. Needless to say, hearing that your husband has just been in a serious accident while you are on the other side of the world is a tough phone call to get.
At first we were not sure of the extent of his injuries due to the severe swelling. Eventually we found out that his neck was broken in two places and he had over 40 stitches in his head. But God is GOOD because he was not permanently paralyzed and would recover.
It has been a tough time for him since then. He has been in this huge neck brace for 6 weeks and has still not regained all the strength in his right arm due to nerve damage. In addition, we recently found out that he will need surgery soon to fuse together 4 vertebrae in his neck. But we still feel very grateful and fortunate that God chose not to take him from this world just yet. The motorcycle, however, is for sale. :)
If you have a weak stomach...don't go any further....
This is before (just after he got the stitches)
This is after (his new scar...his hair has since grown over it)
Week 6 wearing the neck brace...he is really, really over it.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
First Day of School
Wow, what a difference a year makes. Last year at this time I had just arrived in Malaysia and I wandered around the campus looking like a deer caught in headlights...no clue what I was doing.
This year, though, I actually know a little more about what to do and I can even answer questions people have! The start to this school year has been so much fun, especially now that I know what I am doing.
This year, because I feel more confident in my position, I am able to notice how excited all the teachers were to get started and how happy all the kids were to be back and see their friends. There was this kind of electricity in the air. The campus looked great, the rooms were all decorated, the bell rang...and it was game time!
Alex was so excited to be in first grade...
Even the big kids were excited to get back at it....
This year, though, I actually know a little more about what to do and I can even answer questions people have! The start to this school year has been so much fun, especially now that I know what I am doing.
This year, because I feel more confident in my position, I am able to notice how excited all the teachers were to get started and how happy all the kids were to be back and see their friends. There was this kind of electricity in the air. The campus looked great, the rooms were all decorated, the bell rang...and it was game time!
Alex was so excited to be in first grade...
Even the big kids were excited to get back at it....
The Elementary School Wing: My own personal fifedom
Two new teachers give each other a pep talk before the bell rings...
You could tell the parents were REALLY excited to send the kids back to school!
My friend Bethany LOVES when I take her picture.
Alex's first grade classroom.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Cannibals, Woodstoves, and Airplanes...Oh My!
Meet Scott and Heidi Wisely....
One of the great things about living and working here in Malaysia is the opportunity to meet all kinds of interesting people. We met Scott and Heidi this summer when they came to Penang to renew their visas and showed up at our church. They are missionaries in Indonesia on the island of Papua New Guinea in a tiny village called Bokondini.
This village is located up in the mountains and can only be reached by plane (and I am not talking a 747) as there are no highways or waterways to get you there from any of the main cities.
This couple is amazing. They are hysterically funny and they have two beautiful children. They have been living and working in these mountains for several years. Their electricity, what there is of it, is powered by the river behind their home. Heidi cooks on a wood-burning stove (a la Caroline Ingall's AFTER the episode when they bought her the wood-burning stove for Christmas).
The villagers they work with are only one generation removed from cannibalism... seriously. The mission dearest to the Wiselys is their dream of creating schools for the local villages that offer "american" curriculum. There are a few International Schools on the island but they are primarily for missionary kids, expats, etc. and the local villagers have no hope of ever being able to afford a good education for their kids, one that would allow them to go to college and make a better life for themselves.
They are on their way as they recently started the first local school with a few dozen students but their vision is for much greater than that. That's where we come in. At this moment we are planning a trip over Christmas break to Bokondini. I will be helping with training local teachers and working on their curriculum and John will be helping with all the construction needs. Our kids will just be running around barefoot and playing with the village kids.
It should prove to be very interesting as I am not well-known for my ability to "rough it". People back home think I am crazy for moving to Malaysia but let's face it, I am not exactly living in poverty. I live in a gated community full of luxury condos. So staying in a home where you cook on a wood stove? Yeah, that should offer up many photo ops!
But I am so excited. It seems like every time I turn around another opportunity to use my skills to help people in this area opens up and I am really grateful to have this chance to make a difference.
This village is located up in the mountains and can only be reached by plane (and I am not talking a 747) as there are no highways or waterways to get you there from any of the main cities.
This couple is amazing. They are hysterically funny and they have two beautiful children. They have been living and working in these mountains for several years. Their electricity, what there is of it, is powered by the river behind their home. Heidi cooks on a wood-burning stove (a la Caroline Ingall's AFTER the episode when they bought her the wood-burning stove for Christmas).
The villagers they work with are only one generation removed from cannibalism... seriously. The mission dearest to the Wiselys is their dream of creating schools for the local villages that offer "american" curriculum. There are a few International Schools on the island but they are primarily for missionary kids, expats, etc. and the local villagers have no hope of ever being able to afford a good education for their kids, one that would allow them to go to college and make a better life for themselves.
They are on their way as they recently started the first local school with a few dozen students but their vision is for much greater than that. That's where we come in. At this moment we are planning a trip over Christmas break to Bokondini. I will be helping with training local teachers and working on their curriculum and John will be helping with all the construction needs. Our kids will just be running around barefoot and playing with the village kids.
It should prove to be very interesting as I am not well-known for my ability to "rough it". People back home think I am crazy for moving to Malaysia but let's face it, I am not exactly living in poverty. I live in a gated community full of luxury condos. So staying in a home where you cook on a wood stove? Yeah, that should offer up many photo ops!
But I am so excited. It seems like every time I turn around another opportunity to use my skills to help people in this area opens up and I am really grateful to have this chance to make a difference.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Counting My Blessings...
It has been quite a summer.
It started off kind of lazy and quiet...swimming...hanging out. And then BAM, things got a little crazy. Some of it was good. A lot of it was bad. And now here I sit at the end of the summer, the new school year about to begin and I feel a little overwhelmed, like I haven't slept in weeks, stressed, worried...you name it.
You see, this summer also included the finalizing of Natalie's adoption in Malaysia which required visits from Social Workers who went over our house and our lives with a fine tooth comb.
Then we decided quite suddenly to move to a new, bigger home but only had 3 days to pack, move, and unpack.
Then I took a very fast, whirlwind trip to the U.S.. And while I was there, John was in a terrible motorcycle accident which left him with over 40 stitches in his head and a broken neck.
By the time I got back from the U.S. (having to say good-bye to people who mean a lot to me), it was time to go back to work.
So I sat in our opening staff meeting this morning, feeling a little sorry for myself. Poor me, no rest. Poor me, too much stress. And then one of my colleagues started playing guitar and singing this one song and the words really hit me.
I have so many blessings in my life. Yes, the adoption was stressful but I have a beautiful daughter now!! Yes, the move was stressful but I have a beautiful home now. Yes, the trip was stressful but I learned a lot about myself from it. Yes, John's accident was awful but he is alive and NOT paralyzed and will make a full recovery. Yes, it is already time to go back to work but I have a fabulous job with people I love.
So the pity party is over and I am ready to take on a new year and I know God is watching over my family through all of it...the good and the bad.
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
It started off kind of lazy and quiet...swimming...hanging out. And then BAM, things got a little crazy. Some of it was good. A lot of it was bad. And now here I sit at the end of the summer, the new school year about to begin and I feel a little overwhelmed, like I haven't slept in weeks, stressed, worried...you name it.
You see, this summer also included the finalizing of Natalie's adoption in Malaysia which required visits from Social Workers who went over our house and our lives with a fine tooth comb.
Then we decided quite suddenly to move to a new, bigger home but only had 3 days to pack, move, and unpack.
Then I took a very fast, whirlwind trip to the U.S.. And while I was there, John was in a terrible motorcycle accident which left him with over 40 stitches in his head and a broken neck.
By the time I got back from the U.S. (having to say good-bye to people who mean a lot to me), it was time to go back to work.
So I sat in our opening staff meeting this morning, feeling a little sorry for myself. Poor me, no rest. Poor me, too much stress. And then one of my colleagues started playing guitar and singing this one song and the words really hit me.
I have so many blessings in my life. Yes, the adoption was stressful but I have a beautiful daughter now!! Yes, the move was stressful but I have a beautiful home now. Yes, the trip was stressful but I learned a lot about myself from it. Yes, John's accident was awful but he is alive and NOT paralyzed and will make a full recovery. Yes, it is already time to go back to work but I have a fabulous job with people I love.
So the pity party is over and I am ready to take on a new year and I know God is watching over my family through all of it...the good and the bad.
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
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